Once, we were a great and powerful people or so we thought. We had a mighty, powerful navy, we knew all the enemies out there and we thought ourselves secure.
In a day, the Cylons wiped that all away.
A single day to end a civilization and to kill billions.
Now, we know a more fundamental truth, the universe is pain, its suffering and only through strength of will and determination can a life be made in it. It need not be your strength, your will, but in your society, your tribe you have to have enough people with the drive to hold the line.
I'm not sure how long I held the line during the flight from the Colonies, I am not longer sure I wish to know. Day by day struggling to keep the people protected and safe, knowing that not all appreciated us for what we do. That is apparently a failing our allies, the Tau'ri also have to face, and that brings me no comfort.
We made our bed many a year ago and in the end we thought ourselves safe from the consequences. In the end, we were brutally proven wrong, but perhaps there is hope in that. We know of the true threats in the universe now, we now how safe we always truly were, or perhaps it would be better to say, weren't. We know now that we had failed the greatest test, that of complacency.
We know now more of technology and fighting we ever did before.
It pains me that we are so dependent on the Tau'ri and the reckoning from that comes every day from Tau'ri who believe we owe them everything and who would see fit to have us as virtual serfs, to our own whose pride denies them the ability to see that, for the moment, we can not change this.
We are not the Twelve Colonies anymore, we are not a Nation in our own right, in truth, we are a protectorate. One with fangs but those fangs do not entirely belong to us, we do not own the shields, the gauss rifles, the pulse lasers and the thousand and one other things that make Galactica alone capable of taking on an entire fleet of the old Colonial navy.
We do not even own the medicines which are keeping the imported Tau'ri diseases from ravaging our population.
Yet, there is hope. The Tau'ri who would see us as serfs have power but do not rule, our Navy though weak is strengthening, our ‘native' population increases at last and in some areas, our morale could even be said to be high.
Our cash balance is negative still but from the meetings with the Quorum and the President, I know there are interesting feelers being sent our way that may well change that. We are growing stronger, slowly and given the chance, we may one day be able to claim a nation of our own.
But that will be the day we claim a system of our own for as long as we are bound to a single system we do not rule on our own, we will be forever at least partially under the thumb of the Tau'ri and that can not be.
One day, we must take to the stars on our own once more.
I will not live to see that day, I know it. Under the old rules, I would have been mandatorily retired by now, the End changed all that and for all my hands ache at the simplest of movements, for all it is becoming so much harder to rise in the morning, for all that I am beginning slowly to forget, I know I am needed.
I wish I was not. I am tired now, and would gratefully seek rest, seek retirement, yet I must not for who could I trust the entire Colonial Navy too?
Yet I must, for all that I hate what I see, I know what is happening. I am old now and soon that will make me a liability more then a boon. It is time for me to back down; it is time for me to choose a successor.
Many expect me to choose Lee. I think him ready for command of a ship, but an entire Navy? I have my doubts and there are certainly those from the Second Fleet who perhaps have more experience, more of the knowledge to run a Navy.
Galactica is the key. My Old Lady is where I lead from and where my successor will lead from as well, it will be many a year before she is superseded as our Capital Ship. Whoever I chose to replace me here will be known as my replacement when I retire.
I must choose carefully for whoever I choose will have to lead the Navy from being a glorified system defence force into being an offensive force once more.
And worse, I know I must do it soon, I know the truth in my heart now. My time is fading away and I have one final duty to perform for my people.
They call her Hell's Runner.
Compared to Galactica , to the three Sentinels and indeed, to the six patrol boats which make up the Colonial Navy, she is a toy, yet she is mine. I never thought I would have command, never thought I would have a ship of my own, never thought I would rise above grease monkey, yet I am here and I am proud of my toy.
She is no true warship, having been used simply as a tripwire since her arrival with the Second Fleet and having narrowly avoided destruction many a time yet now she is mine. She is another grand old lady, perhaps a little sportier then Galactica where I used to serve but the arrival of the Goa'uld and the truths they brought defanged her. She is no threat to them and never has been, likely never will be.
Yet, she is useful and because of that, I have a simple task before she truly becomes mine.
I must give this lady her fangs back.
True, she is marginally larger then one of the Tau'ri Patrol Boats but her design means she is not suited for Gauss rifles and certainly she has no hope of mounting any Ion weaponry. Pulse lasers are a simple task, as are the new Naquadah generators, shields are more of a technical challenge as are improved sensors but main weapons?
I have my doubts.
But in my doubts I find the answer. If she is not to be a main combatant but she is still perfectly flight worthy then what use should she be put too? This is a question that had already been answered; she is our tripwire so perhaps she should simply become a better tripwire?
The Tau'ri have a project they call AWACs which shows promise, the mounting of a sensor array equivalent to a destroyers aboard a hull as small as a Paladin. In a hull this size, I could mount the array off a cruiser.
I'm sure Adama could find a use for that.
This is apostasy.
That these… ‘Tau'ri' could claim the Gods were false, that they were alien degenerates. It is truth then that Earth is the place of lies. Lies they will be punished for when the time comes.
And the time will come, the truth will always out, the Righteous will always be victorious, how could they not be with truth and the Lords behind them?
For now I must hide the fact that I am still loyal, that I do believe, must present the face of a doubter in order to progress within the ranks of the Heretic controlled military. The day will come when the ranks will be purged of the unbeliever, when the righteous and just rule once more.
Then we will make the Tau'ri acknowledge the truth of the Gods, of the Lords of Kobol and have them cast aside their foolish worship of their False Gods and Idols. That they could accuse us of worshipping false Gods… it is not us, it is they and they are truly blind not to see it.
So, we will have to make them see it, one way or the other.
What do I teach?
In the days of old I taught history, ancient history. In effect, I was teaching the word of Kobol as all we knew of ancient history came from the Books of Kobol. Now, I teach history. I teach the history of Kobol as we know it, but so much has been lost that there are huge gaps in what I can teach, in what I know.
In what is in the remaining books.
Or do I teach of the history of the Tau'ri?
So much more is known and there is certainly more I can teach but it is not our history. It may be part of our future, but it is not part of our past. Do I teach of the Book of Kobol as I used too?
But that is a book questioned and denied nowadays. There are many who would withdraw their children from my classes should I start and equally many who would encourage their children because of it.
Such teachings divide not unify and right now it is unity we need if we are to survive as a people. Already, I see a disturbing wave of fundamentalism in the streets in those who still hold true to the Word of Kobol and those who do not.
Already I have seen riots and the burning of a Church followed by the burning of books. There is a Tau'ri expression that comes to mind, those who start by burning books end by burning people. I wish in could say that was only true for the Tau'ri but from what I remember of our own past, I know that that is certainly not so.
We had our own monotheistic sects and there are dark times in our past when not believing in the Lords meant you could not claim the protection of the law, when believing differently meant you had no rights at all.
Perhaps history is not what needs to be taught here thought history can be the tool that is used to teach. Perhaps what should be taught is not believing simply because you are taught to believe but in seeking truth and making your own mind.
It would be a fine thing to teach that, but I doubt even a true Lord of Kobol could get humanity to understand that.
A human maybe, humans no.
We are not safe here.
Yet, where else can we be?
The Tau'ri gave us the tools to fight, to defend against more powerful threats then the Cylons ever were but obtaining those tools kept us here, in the firing line.
In the fight.
The Tau'ri, they have targets painted on their ships and on their world and through associating with them we have gained the attention of the Goa'uld. Have gained targets on our sides from enemies who never knew or cared we existed before.
We are no safe here.
Yet, here we are and for now, here we can not leave. Here lies our boon; our source of strength, here lays our burden, the source of new enemies, new threats. Hope and fear, light and dark all rolled into one.
We are not safe here but here we must stay. Therefore we must make this place safe, we must become stronger.
We do not have the strength to become stronger, we have to rely on another and as long as we do that, our strength is not our own, our protection merely the scrapings off another's table.
We are the weak; to survive we must be the strong. Maybe not the strongest, but certainly strong enough to give any single enemy pause. To do that, we need more ships, fixed defences, resources, people, and perhaps most of all time.
Time we can not gain on our own.
The Tau'ri, our boon, our bane. In associating with them we gain risk but we may just gain our time.
We may just lose our identity.
Perhaps this is what paradox truly means.
I do not own nor do I claim ownerhsip of characters and or concepts from Stargate SG-1, Battlestar Galactica or any other non-original works contained within.